Review of Terminator 4: Salvation. Be ready to laugh your head off if you have seen it.

*Warning, contains spoilers. Please read if you have watched Terminator as this is a parody review.

Ok, here goes my review of the Terminator Salvation.

Story start out pleasingly, with a guided missile hitting an enemies outpost. The backdrop of AC-130's drilling the land with bombs was a wonderful sight. Infantry is dropped off with helicopters. Assaulting the outpost. Oh the action starts out just fine. John Connor steps out of the heli, only eager to go on with another mission.

Then investigate the ruins, go down this hole to find some data which they found out was top priority. Then, the sargent asks John Connor to go back up and call in for more backup.

As John Connor takes pilot helicopter, leaving the ruins of the outpost, he notices that it is quiet, too quiet.

Suddenly.

EXPLOSION! The helicopter goes down... down and down it goes.

*crash*

He walks out without a scratch. He looks back.

NUCLEAR CLOUD!

What I was thinking: "Eh, no nuclear fallout ah? THIS IS INDIANA JONES ALL OVER AGAIN!"

After that, a new guy appears. Marcus he goes. He walks in into a once bustling town. Now in ruins.

RUN RUN RUN FIGHT RUN FIGHT RUN FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT.

After that, he meets Reese Kyle.

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT RUN RUN FIGHT RUN FIGHT.

Night has fallen. Rest.

Day has fallen. RUN!

RUN RUN FIGHT RUN FIGHT RUN FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN *how did he throw so accurately?* EXPLOSION! RUN RUN RUN

Reach petrol station. Small confrontation. Then, HOLY SHITZ 200 FOOT ROBOT CAME HERE TO OWN THEM! Of course everyone except main characters get owned.

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT *Don't fight!*

Idea!

Goes to oil tanker. (I thought they ran out of oil?)

Drives oil tanker to robots feet.

Kyle Reese shoots oil tanker doesn't work. So what do they do? Why, get down and dirty of course. Light a flare gun! *Star is so cute*

TANKER EXPLODES! EXPLOSION EXPLOSION EXPLOSION EXPLOSION EXPLOSION EXPLOSION EXPLOSION EXPLOSION EXPLOSION EXPLOSION EXPLOSION EXPLOSION EXPLOSION EXPLOSION EXPLOSION EXPLOSION EXPLOSION EXPLOSION EXPLOSION

THEREFORE, GAS STATION EXPLODES!!!

EXPLOSION EXPLOSION EXPLOSION EXPLOSION EXPLOSION EXPLOSION EXPLOSION EXPLOSION EXPLOSION EXPLOSION EXPLOSION EXPLOSION EXPLOSION EXPLOSION EXPLOSION EXPLOSION EXPLOSION EXPLOSION EXPLOSION EXPLOSION EXPLOSION

ROBOT ENGULFED IN FLAMES! But does not die. Does not chase them.

WOW!

REMPIT TERMINATORS!

RUN RUN RUN EXPLOSION RUN RUN EXPLOSION RUN EXPLOSION EXPLOSION RUN RUN kills bikes but goes to bridge. Bike stuck to truck goes to waiting aeroplane.

SUPER FAKE OWNAGE.

EXPLOSION! HOLY SHIT WTF JUMPS 200 FT TO SHALLOW POND STILL WALKING. Kyle Reese is captured. WTF THEY DIDNT KILL HIM HES NUMBER 1 ON THE LIST I THOUGHT ALL TERMINATORS WERE DESIGNED TO KILL PPL SINCE WHEN GOT PRISONERS ONE?

Then Marcus finds companion, new one. Blair her name.

Walk walk walk walk. FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT *wtf got romance one suddenly?* FIGHT.

EXPLOSION! Suddenly reach base.

love scene, love scene, heart before mind thinking. BANG BANG RUN RUN INACCURATE SHOOTING *How could the humans survive this far?* RUN RUN BANG BANG BOOM!

OMG HE'S HALF HUMAN!

John Connor is one on one with Marcus. Decides to let him go. But Marcus needs to inflitrate Skynet now.

Suddenly he's at the outskirts of L.A.

They let him in. John Connor decides to hijack a bike and ride there. I dont get it, if the bike can dodge cars exploding in midair, how could it not see a line in the middle of the road which would be hazadous if it was to go over it as a trap?

He's suddenly in L.A. too. Suddenly he's managed to inflitrate the main HQ.

Marcus goes into the main brain HQ room, the center of the centre. Finds out that he was supposed to do this and that that was the plan Skynet had all along. Marcus destrories his own microchip, but manages to function, as we would to find out later, "heart is the strongest part of the human body, as it is what makes us human." WTF.

John Connor finds Kyle Reese *HES STILL ALIVE HE WAS SUPPSOED TO BE DEAD HES NUMBERS ONE ON THE TERMINATOR LIST*

Suddenly Arnold Swathdneksj (spelling lol) comes. Marcus comes in time.

Ways NOT to kill a Super-Arnold Model Terminator

1. Hot molten lava doesn't work (Worked in Terminator 1)
2. Freezing doesn't work (Worked in Terminator 2)
3. High-voltage electricty doesn't work
4. Gas explosions doesn't work.
5. Shooting it in the head repeatly till his skin comes off? Doesn;t work.
6. Grenade launchers doesn't work.

Ways TO kill a Super-Arnold Model Terminator.
1. Rip its head off. *****

Imagine, if Terminator 1 ended if Kyle Reese managed to rip The Terminator's head off. Why didn't they think off it back then? The movie would be 20 minutes long then.

Terminator 2 would end in 15.

ANYWAY.

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT. Marcus wins by ripping its head off. But only before John Connor is stabbed with a STEEL ROD through the middle of his chest.

Amazingly, it is pulled out, and with a little bit of help, John Connor manages to walk out of the building to the extraction point. LIKE WTF THE ROD WENT THROUGH HIS HEART HE IS THE SAVIOUR ALL RIGHT.

Of course,

BIGGEST EXPLOSION EVER WHICH DESTROYES THE WHOLE SKYNET OF THE L.A. HQ TO END THAT SCENE WITH.

Ending coming. John Connor is dying. But he can't die. He's the saviour of mankind. "His heart can't take it."

WAIT!

Marcus donates his heart. On the spot.

My thoughts: "WTF U CANT JUST GIVE YOUR HEART LIKE THAT WHAT IF THE TISSUES OF THE HEART DONT MATCH THEN JOHN CONNOR WOULD REJECT THE HEART WHICH WOULD ONLY LEAD TO COMPLICATIONS. AREN'T THERE SUPPOSED TO BE TESTS AND SHIT FOR A MONTH, NOT TO MENTION A WAITING LIST TO BE PUT ON?"

And they all live happily ever after. Of course, the ending says that they only managed to destroy the L.A. side of Skynet, and that Skynet is "still powerful worldwide" What this means is.

There will be another Terminator soon.

The end.